Having a baby is a lot like starting a trip around the world. You can read all the research and buy all the supplies you want, but you’re never going to feel completely prepared for the journey that lies ahead. Hint: That’s also one of the most valuable, and hardest-learned lessons of parenting.

Accepting that there’s so much you can’t control frees you up to focus on all the things you do. In this Guide, we’ll help you think through all the ways you can prepare for a new baby.

Key Takeaways

• Know the “right” time to have a baby and the emotional shifts to expect.

• Learn how to build a nest-egg for your expanding family. 

• Get ready to baby-proof your house and protect your most important documents.

Things to consider before having a baby

If your baby isn’t already on the way, you may wonder: Is it the “right” time to start or expand your family? 

The answer will be different for everyone, but here are some things to consider before you get pregnant, adopt, or try IVF:

• Get clear about your reasons for becoming a parent. 

  Be honest with yourself. Do you like children? Do you feel that you have time, energy, and love to share? Is your relationship on solid footing? What about your job and finances? Everyone is different and there’s no one “right” or “wrong” answer, but the more of these questions you feel confident answering “yes” to, the more ready you may be to start a family.

• Commit to healthy living.

  Getting in good shape now can make pregnancy easier and/or help you cement healthy habits you can pass on to your baby. Talk to your doctor about how to:

  • Manage ongoing health issues, like sexually transmitted infections, hypertension, or depression

  • Learn strategies to cope with stress 

  • Quit any behaviors that could harm your baby (like smoking, drug use, or drinking alcohol)

  • Take folic acid to protect your baby’s development

  • Safely take any medications, herbal and dietary supplements, and over-the-counter drugs

• Consider your relationships

  Do you feel safe at home? Will your baby feel secure and loved? Do you have a partner, family, friends, or neighbors to support you? Evaluating your current relationships can also help you understand if the timing’s right for you to become a parent.

How can I prepare emotionally for having a baby?

Coffee mugs, bumper stickers, throw pillows, wine glasses — inspirational or tongue-in-cheek advice on having a baby and being a parent is everywhere. But preparing for the emotional shift that happens when you have a child is not as easy to whittle down to a six-word quip. Here are some tips to consider before your little one arrives:

• Lower your expectations.

  Social media posts often portray parenting as a dreamy time of new love and teeny-tiny fingers and toes. In reality, it’s messier. Along with that love can come sleep deprivation, squabbles with your partner, and a lingering sense of overwhelm.  Recognize that being a new parent may feel underwhelming or difficult at times and that’s really common.

• Build a community.

  If parenting sometimes makes you feel adrift, befriending other parents can remind you: there are other rafts on this ocean, too. Together, you can commiserate about how tired you are, trade breastfeeding tips, and share your fears about everything from clipping their fingernails for the first time to whooping cough. If you don’t already have strong relationships with other parents in your neighborhood or who’ve you met in childbirth classes, look for an in-person or online support group.

• Talk (a lot) with your partner.

  Before the baby comes, get your partnership in a good place. During the baby's first year, you may feel more like the two of you are tag-teaming child/household/pet duties more than you’re a romantic couple. Being able to talk to each other honestly and openly will help. A lot.

• Know the signs that you need more support.

  Many new moms experience “the baby blues” —  ie, short-lived feelings of anxiety, sadness, irritability, a lack of appetite or trouble sleeping. Postpartum depression (PPD) is more intense. The signs can include feelings of hopelessness, intense anger, difficulty concentrating,  trouble bonding with your baby, and severe anxiety.

  If you have symptoms like these, seek assistance from a professional, like your doctor or therapist. Treatments like talk therapy and medication, like antidepressants, can be helpful tools in managing these conditions.

How can I prepare financially for having a baby?

The simplest way to financially prepare for a new baby? Win the lottery. The cost of raising a child from childbirth to age 17 is estimated to run around $310,605. But since the odds of winning the Powerball aren’t great  — 1 in 292.2 million  — you’ll have to take some other, thoughtful steps. 

For instance, you can:

• Review your budget. 

  Take a look at your monthly expenses. Plenty of new costs will be associated with the arrival of a new baby, from diapers, clothing, and car seats to healthcare and life insurance. (More about that coming up.) Now is a great time to see where you can cut back. Put any extra funds into a savings account. (Ideally, six months of expenses should be tucked away for emergencies.)

• Shop thoughtfully.

  There are endless adorable onesies, cribs, stuffed animals, and clever gadgets to buy for a new baby, but try not to overdo it. To prevent overspending and finding your closet full of baby items you never used, make a list of necessities. (If this is your first child, ask other parents to chime in.) See which items you can put on your baby registry, borrow from friends, or purchase second-hand.

• Think about childcare.

  Will you stay home with your baby? Will your partner or another family member? Or are you going to look for outside child care? Even if you’re lucky enough to have parental leave from your employer, it’s important to find a child care provider and plan for the cost before you need it. According to a Care.com survey, the national average cost of a nanny is $694 a week, which can make a sizable dent in your monthly budget.

• Add your baby to your health plan.

  Babies can quickly rack up a lot of medical expenses, from their actual delivery to vaccinations, pediatric check-ups, and any medication they may need. You’ll (drastically) decrease your out-of-pocket expenses by signing them up for your health plan.

  Even if you had insurance throughout your pregnancy, don’t assume your newborn will automatically be added to your plan. Contact your insurer within 30 days after their birth or adoption. 

• Buy life insurance.

  Of course you don’t want to think about worst case scenarios at such a happy time, but term life insurance is a wise idea when you’re having a baby.  In the event of your death, your family will receive a tax-free sum of money. 

  Term life insurance doesn’t build cash value, so it’s easier to apply for and more affordable than you might think. For instance, according to Moneygeek.com, the average 30-year-old pays $24.82 each month for a 20-year policy that pays out $500,000 in the event of death.

• Set up a college fund.

  Becoming a parent doesn’t just mean thinking about your child’s needs today, but years down the road. You may not be able to imagine your adorable newborn packing up their bedroom and heading to college, but it will happen one day. To set them (and you) up for success, open an educational fund as soon as possible. That will give your investments time to grow. 

  A professional financial advisor can help you understand which fund is the best fit for you. For instance:

  The earnings of a 529 Education Savings Plan are tax-exempt as long as they’re spent on educational expenses. Each state sets its own annual contribution limits, but many allow allow six-figure investments.

  Contribute up to $2,000 each year to a UGMA/UTMA (Uniform Gift to Minors Act/Uniform Transfer to Minors Act) account. You’ll be the custodian until your child is an adult, at which time they can spend the balance however they like.

  Funds from a Coverdell Education Savings Account (ESA) are tax-free and can be used on a variety of education-related expenses, including computers and wi-fi.  

Baby proofing your home

Once you know a new baby will be in your home soon, it’s time to take care of any potential safety issues. Stairs, electrical outlets, the water in your shower that comes out extra-hot the way you like it — these can all be hazards for a small child.

To baby-proof your living space, you can:

• Put safety gates at the tops of stairs or to block rooms that are off-limits to your baby.

• Give away plants that could be toxic if eaten.

• Sweep and vacuum regularly to pick up items small enough to be choking hazards.

• Cover radiators and heating vents.

• Mount furniture to the wall. 

• Place non-skid pads under rugs.

• Pad sharp furniture edges with corner protectors or bubble wrap.

• Add child-proof covers to your stove knobs.

• Cover electrical and GFI outlets within a child’s reach.

• Use cabinet locks to ensure cleaning supplies and medications can’t be accessed.

• Install cordless blinds or cord safety clips.

• Look into a toilet seat lock.

• Set your water heater no higher than 120 degrees to avoid burns.

Worried you’ll miss something? Consider hiring a professional baby-proofer to assess potentially unsafe conditions in your living space and fix them.

Documents every new parent needs

Of course, you’ll want to keep a journal or make a digital scrapbook documenting your baby’s arrival. But you’ll also need to fill out some paperwork. Here’s the rundown of what your new addition will need.

Birth certificate

Soon after childbirth, hospital staff or your midwife will give you an application for a birth certificate. Fill it out promptly so you don’t hold up other documents you may need to apply for (like a passport.)

Tip: Not all states automatically send you a copy of your baby’s birth certificate. You often need to request (and pay for) certified copies, which can take time to process. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention maintains a list of Vital Records departments in each state.

Social security card

The best time to apply for your baby’s social security number? The same time that you fill out their birth certificate. (Both forms are usually provided in hospitals.) There’s no substitute for this nine-digit number; you’ll need it for everything from medical coverage to taxes.

Tip: If you decide to apply later at a Social Security office, bring documents that prove your baby’s identity, as well as your relationship to them.

Vaccination record

Tracking your child’s immunizations is not only important for their health and safety, but will be necessary when they register for daycare or school, play sports, or travel internationally. Your child’s pediatrician will keep a record of the shots your child gets and can provide an official copy to you by request.

Tip: You can also find vaccination info through your state health department or Immunization Information System (IIS). (If you recently moved, contact the IIS in the state where your child had their last shots.

Trust

“Trust fund baby” isn’t the dig it used to be. Trusts are now widely recognized as helpful financial tools that help you safeguard your assets and control how your money is distributed, while minimizing your taxes. A trust can be held in your child’s name but not dispersed until they reach a certain age. You can also specify how the funds should be used — only for educational purposes, buying a home, etc.

Tip: While it’s possible to create a DIY trust, consider hiring an attorney to take care of it for you. This is especially true if you aren’t sure what you own or have complicated finances or family relationships. (Hiring a professional may also give you peace of mind.)

Will 

In the event of your death, you want to make sure your assets are allocated the way you want and that your child will be well cared for. A guardianship letter specifies who will raise them if you and their other parent pass on. You can also include a letter of instruction which spells out specific ways you wish that they be raised. 

Tip: If you have a blended family, consult with an attorney. They can help you understand the best way to legally navigate all your relationships in order to provide for your child or children.

Welcoming a new baby into your family means more important documents to keep track of. Make your life easier by adding them to Trustworthy. We’re the only platform that offers a centralized view of your family’s essential information. Sync instantly between devices so you can always access what you need, set reminders to keep your info up-to-date, and invite other family members and professionals to collaborate. 

Having a baby is a joyful, busy time. Let Trustworthy streamline some of the tasks you have to take care of, so you can concentrate on taking care of your newborn.