Congratulations — You’re engaged! What happens next on the way to saying “I do?” A list of to-dos — some of which will sound familiar (like figuring out who will officiate your ceremony) and other tasks which may come as a surprise — like figuring out the documentation needed to apply for a marriage license.

In this step-by-step Guide, we’ll help you understand how to get married, step by step, and as smoothly as possible.  

Key Takeaways

• Choose a wedding date that’s right for you and your partner.

• Get tips on the legal navigation needed to make your wedding official. 

• Understand what’s involved with a courthouse wedding (and why it can be a great option!)

Set a date for your wedding

Before you figure out how to get married, tackle the “when.” There’s a lot that can factor into how you set a wedding date. For instance:

• How much time do you need to plan? 

  A 2022 survey by The Knot found that the average length of an engagement is 16 months. But you could also keep it short and sweet (and simple) by opting for a ceremony at a courthouse or civic building. (More about that coming up.)

• Is there a specific date that’s special to you?

  Maybe it’s the anniversary of when you and your partner first met, a day that’s important to your religion or culture, or a date that resonates with you because it has repeating numbers (like 9/9/23). If so, consider saying your vows then.

  (But you may want to steer clear of setting a wedding date on a super-popular holiday like Christmas, when everything from airfare to vendor rates will be higher.) 

• What time of year would you like your ceremony?

  Many brides-to-be set a wedding date based on their favorite season. For instance, if you love snow, think about a winter wedding. Have your heart set on an outdoor ceremony with mild temps and flowers just starting to bloom? A spring wedding may be more your vibe. 

• What’s your budget?

  From florist and cake baker to venue and caterer, ceremony costs can add up quickly. The time of year you tie the knot can make a difference. May through October is peak wedding season, so prices are typically higher during this time. If you’re hoping to stay within a budget, consider choosing a date outside this time frame — specifically in January, March, April, or November.    

Apply for a marriage license

Once you lock in a wedding date and decide where the ceremony will take place, you’ll need to submit an application for a marriage license — the legal document required of all couples prior to a ceremony. 

How to get a marriage license in the U.S.

There isn’t a general form that everyone in the U.S. fills out, like you do for, say, a passport or social security number. The requirements to get a marriage license are unique to the county in which your ceremony will be held. For instance, if you live in Pennsylvania but your ceremony will take place in Santa Cruz, California, your license will need to come from the Department of the County Clerk in Santa Cruz County.)

Because marriage license requirements vary so much, it’s crucial to directly contact the local, county or city clerk’s department in the area where you’ll be married. (A list of guidelines may also be available on their website.)

The documentation that applicants must show to get a marriage license can include:

• Social security card (knowledge of your number is sometimes acceptable)

• Valid photo ID with name and date of birth, such as

  • Drivers license

  • Passport

  • State-issued identification card

  • Military identification

• Certified copy of your birth certificates

• Information about your parents, such as:

  • Their full names at birth

  • Birthdates

  • Birth states

  • Dates of their passing, if applicable

• Certified documentation of divorce or death certificate (if you or your partner have previously been married)

In some counties, print documentation of your identity isn’t enough. An in-person witness who has known you for at least six months is sometimes also part of the requirement. (And of course, be prepared to pay a fee which can range from $35 to $150.)

In some departments which issue marriage licenses,  you may be able to walk right in and fill out an application. In other cases, you’ll need to call first to schedule an appointment.

How to get a marriage license when you’re overseas

If you’re planning a destination wedding, you’ll need to submit paperwork where your wedding ceremony will physically take place, as well as in the state where you live in the U.S. Specific guidelines will vary, but generally speaking, you’ll need to: 

• Contact the embassy or tourist information bureau of the country where your ceremony will be held. They can help you understand how to get married, and the specific license requirements, in that particular region. 

• Make sure your marriage will be recognized in the U.S. For assistance, The U.S. State Department's Bureau of Consular Affairs recommends contacting the office of the Attorney General in the state where you live.

Prevent last-minute issues with your marriage license

“How can I make sure everything goes smoothly?” has to be one of the most frequently asked questions about weddings. No guarantees, but these tips can certainly help.

• Gather your important docs ahead of time.

  Make sure you know where all necessary documents are (and that they’re up-to-date) before you apply for your marriage license. Trustworthy can help with this step. Our Family Operating System® provides a centralized view of your most important information, and special features like expiration date reminders and country-specific renewal instructions for passports will help keep you organized. 

• Time your license just right.

  Timing is surprisingly important when applying for a marriage license. Many licenses are only valid for a small window of time (like 30 to 90 days) from the date they were issued. If you get one too soon and it expires before your ceremony,  you’ll need to repeat the application process.

  On the other hand, don’t wait until the very last minute. You likely won’t receive a marriage license the same day. Many states also have a waiting period between when your license is approved and when you’re legally allowed to use it. (Although you may be able to apply for a waiver.)  

  As a general rule of thumb, expect to apply for your wedding license no more than 90 days, but no less than one week, before your ceremony. (But double-check with your county clerk’s department.)

• Keep your license safe and secure.

  If you happen to lose your license before the ceremony, it’s your responsibility to return to the clerk’s office where it was issued and fill out an application for a duplicate marriage license. 

  Be prepared to jump through some hoops. You may need to sign an affidavit, pay a special fee, or apply in person with your partner. The exact guidelines will depend on the legal requirements in your area.

Signing your marriage license

Your license will need to be signed during or after your marriage ceremony. Exactly whose signatures are required will depend on your local laws, but most require sign-offs from:

• You and your partner

• The officiant (the person who performed your wedding)

• Two witnesses (who are physically present and above the age of 18)

In some parts of the U.S. it’s legal to “self-unite” your marriage (ie, perform the ceremony yourself). If that’s the case, you can skip the officiant signature.

Although the specific guidelines vary from state to state (and sometimes even from city to city), a form of self-uniting is allowed in:

• California

• Colorado

• District of Columbia

• Kansas

• Illinois

• Maine

• Nevada

• Pennsylvania

• Wisconsin

(Just make sure to do your research first so you’re crystal clear on any parameters.)

When and how to get a marriage certificate

After the wedding ceremony,  your marriage license must be returned to the department of the county clerk. It will be registered with the state and a marriage certificate will be prepared. (Some states and counties automatically mail this to you. In other places, you’ll need to call and ask for a certified copy.)

It’s important to get this document. You’ll need it for things like:

• Any name changes

• Accessing your partner’s benefits (like healthcare or immigration)

• Buying a home together

• Proof of marriage for tax reasons

Once you receive your marriage certificate, upload it to Trustworthy’s Family Operating System®. As you and your partner weave your lives together, keeping all your documents in one place — not spread across digital storage, filing cabinets, and the occasional box in a hallway closet — makes a lot of sense. (And we’re the only online service that exceeds industry standards for both security and privacy.) 

Blending families? Trustworthy offers multi-household access, so you can connect with an unlimited number of additional family members from your account and seamlessly manage and navigate between them.

How to Get Married at the Courthouse

There are lots of legitimate reasons to skip a big wedding ceremony and tie the knot in a civil ceremony instead. For instance, they’re significantly cheaper, quicker to plan, and may prevent you from spiraling into decision fatigue. (Most courthouse weddings clock in at less than 15 minutes.)

Still, some preparation is necessary! If you plan on walking down the (courthouse) aisle:

• Call the county clerk ahead of time. 

  Every municipality is different. Some set aside time for walk-in weddings (so long as you already have a marriage license.) At other places, applicants must schedule an appointment.

• Decide on any special touches.

  For instance, some courthouses will allow you to use your own officiant. Others will let you bring in a certain number of guests, have a special photographer or videographer present, or even recite your own vows if time allows….but you’ll need to verify (and possibly pay for) these extras ahead of time.

• Bring your paperwork with you.

  Don’t show up empty-handed on your special day! As a general rule, applicants must have:

  • A wedding license

  • Government-issued photo identification for you and your partner

  • 1-2 witnesses with photo ID

• Sign on the dotted line.

  Just like in a traditional wedding ceremony, your marriage license will need to be signed and submitted for processing. The judge or other officiant should be responsible for this step but double-check — and remember to follow up and request a certified copy of your marriage certificate.

• Celebrate!

  Break open a bottle of Champagne. Plan an intimate party with family and friends. Head out on a honeymoon. Or maybe you just return to your regular life aglow with new love! However you celebrate, take time to officially appreciate this exciting new development in your life — and all the adventures that lie ahead.