Losing a loved one is heartbreaking, especially when it’s a parent. If you’ve been tasked with writing your mother’s eulogy, you might not be sure where to begin. A eulogy helps you to celebrate the life your mother lived and acknowledge her accomplishments and what made her special.
To get you on the right track and make things easier, we’ve compiled 12 simple steps for writing a eulogy. We’ll also share tips for how to practice and deliver your mom’s eulogy with confidence.
12 Steps for Writing a Eulogy For Mom
1. Think About the Goals of Your Mom’s Eulogy
Consider what you want the audience to take away from your speech.
One goal could be to let the audience know your mom was a major influential figure in your life. To achieve this, include lessons from the past she’s taught you, as well as stories for examples.
Another goal could be to let the audience know your mom was self-sacrificing. Write about events in her life where she made choices that put other people’s needs ahead of hers.
A eulogy is short but can contain multiple goals, depending on the important points you want to highlight.
2. Brainstorm Ideas
Reflecting on past memories and events is a good way to get inspired. Reaching out to people your mother was close with will also help with ideas.
Brainstorming helps you reflect on what you want to say in your mom's eulogy. If your mom was self-sacrificing, how would you describe the events in your own words? What are the specific things you can highlight and emphasize?
3. Pick a Theme
This could be something as abstract as love or sacrifice if she lived her life in service to others. Or it may revolve around specific topics like resilience if she faced tough trials with courage.
Choosing a theme for your mom's eulogy helps tie together all the stories, lessons and ideas you've brainstormed.
Your chosen theme will help guide how you introduce information about who your mother was and what made her special.
For instance, if generosity is selected as the center point of focus, plan out anecdotes revolving around instances where she showcased this trait.
These can be anything from helping with kids’ school projects to always extending an open home invitation during holidays for those without family around. This aids in painting a vivid picture of the kind of person she was by illustrating her consistency.
4. Consider Her Values
Values are what make a person. Your mother likely had values and things that she felt deeply passionate about. Including them in her eulogy can give a deeper insight into who she was as a person.
If you need help determining what her values were, think about the way she lived. Examples of values to include are kindness, compassion, selflessness, honesty and perseverance. You can also share stories or examples that illustrate these values within your relationship with her.
5. Note Significant Life Events
Your mother likely had many life significant life events. While you can’t tell her whole life’s story, highlight the most significant ones.
These include things such as getting married, having kids, starting a career and receiving awards. Events that had a major positive impact on your mother should be included.
6. Gather Information From Close Relatives
Some of the best eulogies contain information not only from your experiences but from others as well.
Reaching out to loved ones is a good way to uncover facts about your mom you might not be aware of. Relatives’ perspectives of her will help you think about how others saw her. You may uncover new values to include about her.
7. Choose How You Want to Organize Your Mom’s Eulogy
It’s important to think about its structure, which has a big impact on the delivery.
Deciding on a theme can greatly determine how you organize the eulogy. It’s common to organize a eulogy in chronological order. However, some eulogies also do it in reverse order.
Look over all the details you’ve written about your mom. Jump to the parts that highlight her at her best moments.
8. Create an Outline
Feeling overwhelmed? Creating an outline will greatly help you organize your information in an orderly fashion.
A good outline doesn't require you to go into full detail. Use bullet points or dashes as a way to highlight certain pieces of information you want to cover. Including headings is also recommended. They serve as cues when you’re about to transition to the next major point of your eulogy.
If you’re unfamiliar with creating outlines, consider Googling eulogy template examples for you to follow.
9. Start With a Strong Opening
A good opening sets the tone for your audience. There are many ways to open a eulogy, and determining the one that’s right comes down to creative preferences.
A common way to start a eulogy is with a simple introduction. Start with your name, how close you were with your mother, and state that you have fond memories of her you want to share with.
Alternatively, you could start with an inspiring quote. Beginning with a joke or a funny moment can be viable too, if done tastefully.
10. Share Personal Anecdotes and Stories
Stories and special moments are a given in any eulogy. Devoting time to share these stories is important. They offer the chance for your audience to sympathize and relate to your parent’s past experiences.
Remember eulogies are meant to be short (between 3-6 minutes). If you plan on telling multiple stories, be sure they’re short and sweet. You may not have time to share many moments. Decide in advance on the ones you do want to do.
11. Consider Using Quotes or Poems
Using quotes and poems in the parts of your mom’s eulogy is another effective strategy to make it more engaging.
Quotes and poems can be utilized in any part of the eulogy as long as they flow and make sense in the context of what you are trying to say. For example, a poem could be a tie-in to a story or a theme you’ve established.
They could also be used as a way to wrap things up. Often in eulogies, a way to say goodbye is to read a loved one’s favorite quote to remind everyone one last time of what their values were.
12. End With Something Memorable
Ending a eulogy doesn't always have to end with a quote or poem. There are several other ways to make a memorable ending.
A popular way to end a eulogy is through a slideshow. Include pictures of your mom in different stages of life. Having music is also a recommendation, especially if it’s tied to your mom’s favorite genre.
How to Deliver Your Mom’s Eulogy
After putting in all the hard work planning and writing your mom’s eulogy, you are now at the stage of making final adjustments.These last few steps will help you prepare for the eulogy presentation.
1. Practice and Refine Your Eulogy
Practice is crucial in delivering a good eulogy. It will familiarize you with how the speech flows. That way, you can identify where pauses or emphasis should be placed for dramatic effect.
Don't expect your first draft to flow perfectly. Spend time refining it by reading it out loud. Make note of any sentences that are difficult to say or don't sound right when spoken.
If you happen to know someone who specializes in writing, consider reading them your eulogy to help you improve.
Professional Speaker, Doug Staneart, notes:
“Just so you know, delivering the eulogy will not be easy. You will be very nervous. But in this situation, you have to ‘feel the fear, and do it anyway.’”
2. Practice Controlling Emotions
It’s hard to anticipate the emotional challenges that come with reading a eulogy in front of many people.
Feeling emotional is normal. It's natural if you feel the need to cry when delivering your mom’s eulogy. If you want to be more emotionally prepared, practice reading the eulogy to close relatives.
Also, practice on the day of the funeral to get emotionally in tune with how you will feel at the actual event.
3. Ask for Help When Needed
It’s important to emphasize you are not alone in this process, and there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
Ask for help when things begin to feel overwhelming. Writing your mom’s eulogy is a major responsibility. It can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
When you feel overwhelmed, ask a friend or family member to step in, even if it’s just for emotional support.
4. Speak From The Heart
Your mom’s eulogy should be an authentic reflection of your relationship with her and the impact she had on your life.
Don’t worry about trying to sound eloquent or using big words. Just speak from the heart and share genuine memories, stories and emotions.
This will make for a more touching tribute and help you connect with the audience who is there to honor your mother's memory.
Things to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
There are some common things to avoid when writing a eulogy. They can be distracting or defeat the sole purpose.
When writing your mom’s eulogy, be sure to focus all of your attention on her. Don’t make it about you or anyone else.
Avoid bringing up any negative moments. A common mistake people make is telling a joke or sharing a memory that doesn't add any positive value to the person they are paying tribute to.
If you’re unsure if you’re doing something wrong, consider running it by a relative or friend. They can offer feedback on how they feel about it.
Short Example Eulogies For a Mom
Here are two short examples of written eulogies coming from a daughter and a son.
Eulogy From a Daughter to Mom
“Hello, everyone. My name is Emily, and I am the daughter of Samantha. Today, we gather to celebrate the remarkable life of my mother. A person whom I hold so very dear to my heart and who has inspired me to be brave and has taught me to find confidence in myself as well as in others in finding their true potential.
As you may or may not know, I used to be a person who struggles with self-doubt. I used never want to be a risk-taker. My anxiety would always get the better of me, and I tried to convince myself to give up during times when I felt scared and alone.
Then, there was my mother, a person who helped keep me grounded in my beliefs by leading through example. My mom was the type who saw potential in everybody. As a Creative Play Director, she had this ability to see the creative potential in everyone, even those who daunted themselves the most.
She taught me that I had what it took to be an actor. She did the same for my friends. She included everyone because she saw value in everyone. No matter how big or small the role was, she treated everyone as a leader, inside and outside of the theater.
Today, I say one last goodbye to Mom. In her eyes, everyone was destined to be a star. Today, she lives among the stars in the sky. I look forward to one day being with her, as a star in the sky.”
Eulogy From a Son to Mom
"Hello, everyone. I am Travis, and today, we all come together to celebrate the extraordinary life of my mother, Donna.
My mom was truly one-of-a-kind. Her favorite phrase, ‘Grab the bull by its horns,’ has always resonated with me as a testament to her belief that we should actively shape our own destinies in this short span of life.
Her professional journey on the radio personified not just physical courage but also an exemplary audacity toward any hurdles that came her way.
One of our most significant memories together was when we ventured into whitewater rafting for the first time. It may seem insignificant to some, but it represented a defining moment in our relationship.
The experience forced us toward real communication and trust. Because once you fell off that boat, there often wasn't another chance. From then on, I felt an unspoken connection with my mother strengthening each day. She taught me how life is best navigated through mutual support from those closest to your heart.
Today, I offer one last salute to Mom, carrying forward precious lessons deep within my heart from her teachings, inspired by her.”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
How long should a eulogy for mom be?
Typically, a eulogy contains around 600-1300 words. Eulogies are meant to be anywhere between 3-6 minutes long when talking. Keep the eulogy short due to time restrictions of the funeral service.
Who usually reads the eulogy?
A eulogy is typically given by a close friend or family member of the person who passed. A person who didn’t know the deceased person well can also deliver it. But the best eulogies come from people who know them well and can add personal stories and anecdotes to their speech.
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