Losing a loved one is heartbreaking, especially when it’s a parent. If you’ve been tasked with writing your mother’s eulogy, you might not be sure where to begin.
A eulogy is an opportunity to celebrate the life your mom lived, acknowledge her accomplishments, and share what made her unique. It’s both a tribute to her and a source of comfort to everyone listening.
Below, we answer common questions about how to write and deliver a eulogy for your mom, from brainstorming ideas to practicing your delivery.
Writing Your Mom’s Eulogy
Q: What should be the main goals of my mom’s eulogy?
A: Think about what you want the audience to take away.
One goal might be to show that your mom was an influential figure in your life — in that case, share lessons she taught you and stories that illustrate them. Another goal might be to highlight her selflessness — so you’d include examples of times she put others’ needs ahead of her own.
A eulogy is brief but can have multiple goals, depending on the points you most want to emphasize.
Q: How do I brainstorm ideas for what to say?
A: Reflect on past memories and meaningful events.
Reaching out to family and friends your mother was close with can provide new perspectives. Brainstorming helps clarify what you want to say and surfaces details you might otherwise forget.
For example, if generosity defined her, jot down specific moments — from helping with school projects to welcoming neighbors during the holidays — and think about how to describe them in your own words.
Q: Should I choose a theme for the eulogy?
A: Yes. Choosing a theme helps tie the stories, lessons, and memories together.
The theme might be abstract (like love, resilience, or sacrifice) or concrete (like generosity or courage).
Once you’ve selected it, build anecdotes around it. For example, if the theme is generosity, share stories that show her consistently giving to others. This creates a vivid picture of her character.
Q: Should I include her values in the eulogy?
A: Definitely. Values often define a person’s life and choices.
Think about the principles your mom lived by: kindness, perseverance, honesty, or compassion. Share stories that illustrate these values in action — how she helped a neighbor, supported her family, or stood by her beliefs.
This adds depth and authenticity to your tribute.
Q: How do I choose which life events to highlight?
A: While you can’t cover everything, select the most significant milestones — marriage, children, career achievements, community involvement, or awards.
Focus on events that had a major positive impact on her life and shaped who she was. These highlights will help the audience connect with her journey.
Q: Should I ask others for input?
A: Yes. Some of the best eulogies combine perspectives from multiple people. Professor and writer Tom Chiarella once wrote, “The writing and reading of a eulogy is, above all, the simple and elegant search for small truths.”
Asking relatives for memories may reveal sides of your mom you hadn’t seen. Collaboration also helps ensure accuracy and inclusiveness — everyone feels represented in the tribute.
Q: How should I organize the eulogy?
A: Structure makes a big difference in flow and impact. You could use chronological order (childhood to later life), reverse chronological (recent life backwards), or organize around themes.
Review what you’ve gathered and prioritize the stories that show her at her best.
Q: Should I create an outline?
A: Yes. An outline will keep you organized and prevent overwhelm.
You don’t need full sentences — just bullet points or section headings. Outlines serve as cues to guide you smoothly from one idea to the next during delivery.
Q: What’s the best way to start?
A: A strong opening sets the tone. Common openings include introducing yourself and your relationship with your mom, then stating your purpose to honor her.
Other options include starting with an inspiring quote, or even a lighthearted anecdote if it’s appropriate. Choose an opening that feels natural and reflects her personality.
Q: How important are personal anecdotes?
A: Very important. Stories are what bring a eulogy to life. They allow the audience to connect emotionally and remember her vividly.
Eulogies are usually three to six minutes, so choose a few meaningful anecdotes rather than trying to cover everything. Keep them concise but heartfelt.
Q: Should I use quotes or poems?
A: Yes, if they enhance your message. A quote or poem can reinforce your theme, illustrate her values, or serve as a memorable closing. For example, a favorite poem might tie into a story about her resilience, or a quote might echo her own philosophy on life.
Q: How do I end the eulogy?
A: End with something memorable. This might be a favorite quote, a poem, a slideshow with music, or a simple heartfelt goodbye. The goal is to leave the audience with a lasting impression of who she was and what she meant to those around her.
Delivering Your Mom’s Eulogy
Q: How should I practice?
A: Read it aloud multiple times. Practicing will help you identify awkward phrasing, decide where to pause, and build confidence.
Don’t expect your first draft to be perfect. Refinement is part of the process. If possible, ask a trusted friend or family member to listen and provide feedback.
Professional speaker Doug Staneart notes: “Just so you know, delivering the eulogy will not be easy. You will be very nervous. But in this situation, you have to ‘feel the fear, and do it anyway.’”
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Q: How do I manage emotions while speaking?
A: Expect emotions to rise — it’s natural. If you’re worried about becoming too emotional, practice in front of close relatives.
You can also rehearse on the day of the funeral to prepare for how you’ll feel in the moment. Remember, it’s OK to cry while delivering a eulogy. The audience will understand.
Q: How can I use pacing and pauses effectively?
A: Speak slowly and deliberately. Nervousness often makes people rush, but taking your time ensures the audience absorbs your words.
Pauses are especially powerful — use them after important stories, quotes, or emotional points. A pause allows the audience to reflect and gives you a moment to compose yourself if needed.
Q: Should I rely on notes or memorize the eulogy?
A: It’s best to bring a printed copy with you, even if you’ve practiced extensively. Memorization can add pressure, and emotions may make it difficult to recall your words. Notes serve as a safety net. Print in large, clear font, and mark pauses or emphasis points to guide your delivery. If you lose your place, simply take a breath and glance down. Nobody will mind.
Q: What about body language?
A: Keep your posture relaxed but respectful. Stand tall, make eye contact with the audience occasionally, and avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting. Gestures can be natural — pointing upward when mentioning heaven, or placing a hand over your heart when describing love — but keep them simple and sincere. Your body language should reinforce your words, not distract from them.
Q: What if I feel overwhelmed by the responsibility?
A: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Writing and delivering a eulogy is a big responsibility, and you don’t need to do it alone. Family members can offer support, help refine the draft, or step in if speaking becomes too difficult. Some families even divide the eulogy into sections and share the delivery among siblings or relatives.
Q: What’s the most important thing to remember when delivering it?
A: Speak from the heart. Don’t worry about perfect grammar or polished phrasing. Authentic stories, genuine emotions, and sincerity will connect with the audience more than eloquent wording ever could.
Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
Q: Should I talk about myself?
A: No. A eulogy is about your mother, not you. While it’s fine to mention your relationship with her, don’t let the speech drift into your own experiences or accomplishments. Keep the focus on her life, her values, and the impact she had on others.
Q: Is it OK to bring up negative moments?
A: Avoid them. This is not the time to revisit conflicts, grudges, or painful memories. Mentioning them can hurt or embarrass family members. The eulogy should highlight positive qualities and leave listeners with a sense of comfort and appreciation.
Q: Can I use humor freely?
A: Use humor carefully. If your mom had a great sense of humor, sharing a lighthearted story can be fitting — but avoid jokes that could seem disrespectful or out of place in a solemn setting. Test your material with a relative if you’re unsure.
Q: What if I’m not sure whether a story is appropriate?
A: Run it by a family member or friend before including it. They can give you honest feedback and help you avoid missteps. When in doubt, leave it out.
Examples of Eulogies for a Mom
Q: Can you share an example of a daughter’s eulogy for her mom?
A: Here’s one example:
“Hello, everyone. My name is Emily, and I am the daughter of Samantha. Today, we gather to celebrate the remarkable life of my mother. A person whom I hold so very dear to my heart and who has inspired me to be brave and has taught me to find confidence in myself as well as in others in finding their true potential.
"As you may or may not know, I used to be a person who struggles with self-doubt. I used to never want to be a risk-taker. My anxiety would always get the better of me, and I tried to convince myself to give up during times when I felt scared and alone.
"Then, there was my mother, a person who helped keep me grounded in my beliefs by leading through example. My mom was the type who saw potential in everybody. As a Creative Play Director, she had this ability to see the creative potential in everyone, even those who doubted themselves the most.
"She taught me that I had what it took to be an actor. She did the same for my friends. She included everyone because she saw value in everyone. No matter how big or small the role was, she treated everyone as a leader, inside and outside of the theater.
"Today, I say one last goodbye to Mom. In her eyes, everyone was destined to be a star. Today, she lives among the stars in the sky. I look forward to one day being with her, as a star in the sky.”
Q: Can you share an example of a son’s eulogy for his mom?
A: Here’s another example:
“Hello, everyone. I am Travis, and today, we all come together to celebrate the extraordinary life of my mother, Donna.
"My mom was truly one of a kind. Her favorite phrase, ‘Grab the bull by its horns,’ has always resonated with me as a testament to her belief that we should actively shape our own destinies in this short span of life.
"Her professional journey on the radio personified not just physical courage but also an exemplary audacity toward any hurdles that came her way.
"One of our most significant memories together was when we ventured into whitewater rafting for the first time. It may seem insignificant to some, but it represented a defining moment in our relationship.
"The experience forced us toward real communication and trust. Because once you fell off that boat, there often wasn't another chance. From then on, I felt an unspoken connection with my mother strengthening each day. She taught me how life is best navigated through mutual support from those closest to your heart.
"Today, I offer one last salute to Mom, carrying forward precious lessons deep within my heart from her teachings, inspired by her.”
The Bottom Line
Writing and delivering your mom’s eulogy is both a challenge and a gift. It gives you the chance to honor her memory, highlight the values and lessons she lived by, and provide comfort to those mourning alongside you.
Prepare carefully, but remember that perfection isn’t the goal. With stories, values, and heartfelt words, your mom’s eulogy will become a lasting tribute that brings solace to everyone present.
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