The passing of a loved one is an emotional experience, and if you are responsible for crafting the obituary, you might question what happens if you decide not to write one.
While an obituary honors the deceased and shares their life story, it is not legally required. Families may choose to forgo one for personal, financial, or practical reasons. This article explores the implications of not writing an obituary and provides alternatives and considerations.
Key Takeaways
Skipping an obituary might result in extended family or friends missing funeral or memorial announcements.
Future generations may find it challenging to trace family history or learn about their ancestry without an obituary.
Alternatives to traditional obituaries include social media posts, memorial websites, or dedicating a tree or bench in the deceased’s honor.
Practical Implications of Not Writing an Obituary
Before you decide to skip writing an obituary, it’s important to weigh the practical implications of this decision.
Obituaries serve as public announcements, helping extended family, friends, and acquaintances learn about the passing and upcoming memorial or funeral services. Without one, some people may not receive this information.
In the absence of an obituary, families must rely on direct communication to share arrangements. This can unintentionally exclude certain family members and lead to the emotionally taxing task of responding to multiple inquiries.
Alternative Ways to Share Important Information
If you decide not to write an obituary, consider these alternatives for sharing important information:
Social media posts: Free platforms like Facebook allow you to announce the death and share service details quickly, especially with long-distance family and friends.
Direct notifications: Texts, phone calls, or emails can reach those not active on social media, though this method can be time-consuming.
Community boards and newsletters: Many communities, churches, or organizations accept death announcements in their bulletins, which can reach local members.
Memorial websites: Websites like Legacy.com offer a digital space to honor your loved one, where you can share stories, photos, and videos as a lasting tribute.
Remember that these alternatives may result in lower attendance at the memorial or funeral since there’s no guarantee everyone will receive the information.
Legal and Administrative Considerations
Marty Burbank, an estate planning attorney with OC Elder Law in California and Washington, notes:
“I've seen that while obituaries aren't legally required for estate settlements, they serve an important function in recognizing a life and can provide a sense of closure. They act as a community touchstone, affirming the passing and allowing for the exchange of condolences. Without one, families might feel the loss of an opportunity for public tribute, possibly leading to feelings of regret later.”
In some jurisdictions, you’re legally required to post a formal death notice during estate settlements. However, this often does not need to be an obituary but rather a death notice, which is shorter and less personal.
Obituaries can also be used in probate court during estate proceedings as evidence of the deceased’s passing and to let all interested parties know the proceedings will take place. If there is no obituary, family members must issue formal death notices to continue with estate settlements, adding more administration during an already stressful time.
Alternatives to Fulfill Legal Obligations
If the family decides not to write an obituary, they may need to use alternative ways to ensure they fulfill the legal obligations of announcing a death.
Alternatives to use:
Filing a death certificate with public records so that it’s accessible to the relevant people.
Publish a brief legal notice in your local newspaper.
Regardless of which method you choose to announce the passing of a loved one, it’s a good idea to keep copies of the notice in a secure digital vault like Trustworthy. You can use Trustworthy’s Family Operating System® to store and organize all important documents in a secure location that makes it easy to locate and share with others.
Impact on Family and Friends
Obituaries provide closure by helping families reflect on the deceased’s life. Without one, families may feel regret or a missed opportunity, especially younger relatives who might want to learn about their loved one later.
Writing an obituary as a family can ease the process, encourage shared grieving, and bring family members closer during this difficult time.
Collaborating with family ensures the obituary reflects the deceased’s life fully. Features like Trustworthy’s secure platform and user permissions can simplify the process by allowing controlled access.
Legacy and Long-Term Consequences
Obituaries serve as historical records, capturing key details about the deceased’s life, achievements, and unique traits. They are valuable for future generations tracing family histories and for researchers studying cultural and societal trends. Without one, understanding family lineage becomes more challenging.
Alternatives to Obituaries for Documenting a Loved One’s Life Story
If you choose not to write an obituary, there are other ways to preserve your loved one’s life story:
Photo albums or scrapbooks: Visual records preserve special moments.
Recorded stories: Audio or video recordings provide a personal touch.
Personal journals or letters: Writing tributes can both preserve memories and help with grief.
Emotional Factors in the Decision
Grieving a loved one is challenging, and writing an obituary can feel overwhelming. Grief may influence your decision to skip this task and complicate family dynamics, leading to disagreements over wording or what to include in the obituary, making writing it off-putting.
If you do decide to skip writing a formal obituary, there are other ways to honor your loved one’s life, including:
Planting a tree in their name
Volunteering in the deceased’s name
Creating a scholarship fund
Guidance for Those on the Fence
If you’re unsure about writing an obituary, consider these questions:
Who needs to be notified of the death, and how will they be informed without an obituary?
Will future generations want a written record of the deceased’s life?
Let your answers guide your decision.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it possible to write an obituary years after someone passes?
There is no time requirement to write an obituary. Some families choose to create the obituary for future generations to learn about their ancestors.
Can I write my own obituary before I pass away?
Yes, you can, and this is a great way to remove the burden of grieving family members.
Consider storing your self-written obituary in Trustworthy for when the time comes. With Trustworthy's legacy access, you can ensure that your loved ones and trusted advisors will be able to manage your important documents after you're gone.
We’d love to hear from you! Feel free to email us with any questions, comments, or suggestions for future article topics.
Trustworthy is an online service providing legal forms and information. We are not a law firm and do not provide legal advice.
